


Zombie no Sedai

by Yurika



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Humor, Parody, idiocy, just for fun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-10
Updated: 2014-04-12
Packaged: 2018-01-15 07:25:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1296442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yurika/pseuds/Yurika
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What would happen if they turned?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Huh?

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy reading this I wanted to make a rather funny story  
> as a contrast to my other story so this little thing came out while I was speaking with my sister  
> we were like: haha Zombie no Sedai and then I was like hey why not?
> 
> Disclaimer: Kuroko no Basket is not mine just the idea is from me and my lovely sister

Kagami and Kuroko were on their usual way to Maji Burger.

"Kurokochiiiiii! Kagamichiiiii! Wait for meeee!" Kise was running towards Kuroko with wide open arms. He didn't see the street sign on his right, so his arm crashed against it. With a quiet thud his right arm fall off. He stumbled over his feet but could catch himself. He stopped and looked back to his arm.

"EEEEEEEH?! My arm it... it... why?!"

Kagami looked horrified to Kise's arm and then in Kise's face. On the ground was really the arm of the model. He wanted to cry out loud like a little girl but was stopped when he saw from the corner of his eyes that Kuroko started to walk towards Kise. He saw how the little boy suddenly began to fall towards the ground. Kagami collected himself just in time to catch the boy. He looked puzzled to Kuroko and saw just then that one of Kuroko's feet was a meter behind him; lying around on the ground, like it was waiting to be picked up by some stranger. When he saw Kuroko's abandoned foot he couldn't keep his voice down and shrieked loud. When you had listened that time closely you could've hear him maybe even in your hometown. So he looked horrified from Kise to Kuroko; then to the arm and the foot. They were lying happily on the ground. Kagami breathed deep in and out and hopped that he wasn't going crazy. He helped Kuroko up and supported him so that the boy could stand.

Kise looked back to his arm and want slowly towards it. He bent down and picked it up as if such a thing happened to him everyday. He then walked to Kuroko and Kagami and passed them to pick up Kuroko's foot as well. So he was standing with his own forearm under his armpit and the left foot of Kuroko in his hand in the middle of the wayside.

"Kise-kun could I get may foot back?" Kuroko said with a straight face.

"Uh" Kise looked still rather confused but answered "Uh... It's no problem I can carry it."

"I think not. I don't know if my foot is safe with you Kise-kun" Kuroko deadpanned.

Kagami was silent and looked to both of them. How they spoke as if this situation was the most normal thing to happen in a normal day.

"Kurokochiii so mean!" Kise wailed but handed Kuroko's foot over to the boy.

"Uh... uhm... maybe... uh... I could... you know... sew your body-parts back?" Kagami asked while noticing how his voice shook.

"Yes Kagami-kun, we should find a place to stay the people are beginning to stare..."

"Uh.. yeah my place isn't so far away from here..." Kagami supported Kuroko while they began to walk towards Kagami's apartment.

They didn't see how behind them Kise was tipping wildly on his smartphone.

* * *

They got to Kagami's place. While Kuroko was supporting himself on the wall Kagami searched for his key. He found it in his Pocket and let it fell on the ground before he finally opened the door. So that one after the other entered his apartment. He helped Kuroko to get on his couch. Then he walked to his kitchen. He needed something to drink.

"What do you want to drink?" he asked without looking back to them.

"Milkshake" Kuroko said before he placed his own foot on the table.

Kise plopped down next to Kuroko and laid his arm on the table as well.

"Some water would be nice!" He said and leaned back in the couch's backrest.

"I don't know how to make Milkshake, how about some water like Kise?" Kagami asked while he turned to his fridge. He took out a bottle of water. While filling in some water in the cubs, he looked shortly back to the both sitting boys.

"Doesn't it hurt?" he asked and filled the next cub.

"Uh... Kagamichi what should hurt?... Oh! Oh... no it doesn't hurt. I had even forgotten, that my arm fell off." He laughed shortly.

"How are you so calm?" Kagami asked while walking back to the couch.

"Would you like it, if we would freak out and scream in your apartment?" Kuroko asked before he took the cub of water.

"Dunno" Kagami replied "I think.. I should search for a needle and some yarn."

He stood up and walked to his bedroom. Before he could enter it he heard how his doorbell rang. He stopped in his tracks and wondered, who could be visiting him now. He walked to the door and when he opened it he saw Midorima. He blinked and then starred in the boys green eyes.

"May we enter your house Kagami?" Midorima asked adjusting his glasses.

Kagami didn't say anything he just stepped to the side, so that Takao and Midorima could enter the house. He closed the door and walked back in with the two.

"Do you want to have something to drink" Kagami offered while he walked to his kitchen, still confused about what was happening, after all the day had started so nice. The sun had shone, so that he had played some basketball before Kuroko had come over. They went off to grab some burgers for him and some milkshake for Kuroko.

"No, not at all. Takao and me are here because Kise wrote me an interesting massaged, that the two had the same problem as me." He said while he was pushing up his glasses with his right hand.

"Kise did  _what_?!" Kagami burst out "Why the hell did you invite  _him_  to my apartment Kise!?" Kagami shouted while looking to the blonde.

"My Mobile send it on his own, I swear, and maybe not just to him..."

" _What_?!" Kagami massaged his temple while he turned back to his living room. He looked to Midorima and Takao and saw just then that there was lying a knew body-part on his table. It was Midorima's left hand, his shooting hand. He starred at it a long time before his gaze went back to the other boys.

"I go and get a needle" He said shortly and walked again towards his bedroom.  
And oh wonder he heard the doorbell ringing again.

" _Who_  the fuck is it now?!" he stumped to his door and tore the door open. In front of him was a smug grinning Aomine.

"Had I known that you would welcome me so nicely I would've been coming before, Kagami" he said.

Kagami starred at him before he slammed the door shut. He heard the doorbell again. He wanted to ignore it. But it rang all the time while he went back to the living and while he was in his kitchen. He found out that Aomine would just stop when he let him in. He stumped back to the door and opened it again. He looked at Aomine and stepped to the side so that the tanned boy could get in.

"Yo all of you" Aomine said before he plumped on the couch. He put his feet on Kagami's table and made himself comfortable.

"I got the massage from Kise, so I have a little problem too." He grabbed his fingers out of his hoody's pocket and laid it on Kagami's table.

"Oh hell  _no_!"Kagami cried out" Why the fuck do you lose your body-parts I knew you were some freaks but  _this_?!"

He stumbled with wobbling knees to his kitchen. He couldn't believe all of this. He didn't know what was going on but he didn't want to lose his cool around the others as well. So he drank some water before he heard the doorbell again. He walked to his door and opened it slightly. He saw the smiling face of Himuro.

"Tatsuya?" Kagami looked confused in Himuro's face while opening the door fully "What are you doing here?"

"Uh... I have a little problem downstairs, please follow me and don't freak out."

"Oh,  _believe me_  I wont freak out after what I've seen today" Kagami said before he began to follow Himuro.

They went down the stairs. Kagami noticed while walking down that there was a wheelbarrow with a white blanket over it and without a doubt there was something really big inside. He slowed down. Himuro waited for him until he was downstairs, then the black haired boy bent over and picked one end of the blanket and pulled it off in a smooth motion. Kagami starred; his eyes widened and he starred a little more. Then Himuro heard how Kagami's body slumped to the ground.

"At least he didn't freak out." Himuro said while he looked at Kagami's lying body.


	2. wtf?...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my native language! So beware there might be spelling and grammar mistakes, so reading to your own risk!  
> The humor is dumb and might cause brain-damage so beware!
> 
> Disclaimer: Kuroko no Basket is NOT mine  
> Just the strange ideas in this story belong to me and my sister!
> 
> Enjoy reading :3

Kagami felt that someone was watching him his eyes flew open. All he got to see was the ceiling in his living room. he still had that awkward feeling that he was watched. So he slowly turned his head to his right and all he got to see was a jar with a yellow eye in it. Kagami screamed and sat up upright and tried to get away from it.

It ended with the result that Kagami toppled over his couch's backrest. His head crashed on the floor. He ground out of pain but still struggled to get away from that eye -that was still watching him and following his every move-. He let out again a scream and and ran into his bedroom door while trying to stand up. So everything went black again.

* * *

Something could hit Kagami's face. He sat abruptly upright. Without opening his eyes he began to speak.

"Kuroko... I had a strange dream..."

"What was it Kagami-kun?" Kuroko asked.

"You and the freaks in your former team had begun to loose their body-parts... The longer the dream kept going the it stranger got... Funny right?"

"Kagami-kun I have to tell you something."

Kagami's eyes were still closed "And what?..."

"It wasn't a dream."

Kagami's eyes widened when he heard it. And then he saw them all standing at the other side of his living room. Kise was holding his forearm and waving with it towards Kagami. That was the least awkward one. But then he saw Akashi and it made his hairs stand on end. The red haired teen was standing with his back towards Kagami then he turned around and Kagami nearly swallowed his tongue while squeaked like a little girl.

There was a damn hole where his left eye was supposed to be. Then he felt again the stinging feeling of someone watching him from behind. He slowly turned his head around. Then he tried to get away from his table again with toppling over his couch's backrest and crashing against his bedroom-door.

"Kagami-kun please calm down." Kuroko said with a calming voice.

"Jeez Kagami, why are ya freakin' out like a scared chick." Aomine grumbled from where he was standing, while he was sticking his pinkie in his ear.

Kagami groaned because of the pain in his head. This time he had hit his head harder than before. He sat on the floor and leaned his back against his door.

"When did Akashi got here? Who invited him?" Kagami asked.

"Nobody Kagami I invited myself." Akashi replied.

"Then I start again... Who the fuck let you in?" Kagami asked closing his eyes and leaning his head against the door as well.

"Nobody." Akashi replied again.

"Didn't Aominecchi open the door?" Asked Kise slightly puzzled.

All he got to see was how both of Akashi's eyes starred at him from different corners of the room. Kise began to sweat and didn't say anything else.

Kagami took a deep breath "Who else is in my apartment?"

"Me!" Shouted Kise happily.

Kuroko sighed because of that habit of the model and began to speak. " Akashi-kun, Takao-kun, Midorima-kun, Aomine-kun, Kise-kun, Himuro-san, me oh and Murasakibara-kun."

"Murasakibara?" Kagami asked searching for the giant guy in his apartment "I don't see him"

"Right here Gamichin" A voice came from the kitchen counter.

Kagami turned his gaze around to the kitchen counter. He saw the head of Murasakibara lying on it. Yeah right... in the wheelbarrow had been Murasakibara's body with his head on his belly. Kagami rose up; finally having his body under control.

"You guys are all freaks" He said when he was standing straight "But I will still help you in your misery"

He opened his bedroom-door and got finally inside and oh wonder the doorbell didn't ring! He looked shortly back to the other teens.

"I am sure my bedroom-door was open. Who closed it?"

"It is inappropriate to let the bedroom-door open while you have guests at your home." Akashi replied shortly.

"Yeah... right..." Kagami sighed those words, seemingly done with the shit that was going on.

Then he turned in his room to search for his sewing materials. He stopped in his tracks.

What was that?

A body.

"What the fuck is Murasakibara's body doing here?!" Kagami shouted from the room.

"We had to put it somewhere Taiga" Himuro said while he leaned against the door-frame.

"But why my bed?" Kagami pinched his nose.

"Oh the next time we could put it in the middle of your living room if you want." Himuro smiled.

Kagami sighed and began to search for is sewing materials. After some cursing and pushing aside stuff he came out of the room.

"So, who is the first one?" Kagami's words hung in the room for a short time.

"You did not close the door Kagami." Akashi said from where he was standing.

Kagami sighed and stumped back to the door and slammed it shut.

"Is the king satisfied?" Kagami asked sarcastically.

"Yes." Akashi replied.

Kagami groaned and got to the table. He put the box with the sewing materials on it. Then he looked at Kuroko, who was sitting on the ground now. After all Kagami had been on the couch after he fainted.

"So... Uh Kuroko may we start with your foot?" Kagami asked hesitating.

Kuroko nodded shortly, then he hold out his ankle towards Kagami and gave Kagami his own foot. Kagami was put swiftly the yarn through the sewing-needles hole.

"You would be a great housewife." Aomine said grinning.

"Shut the fuck up Ahomine" Kagami growled. "Oh maybe we should sit on the couch... it would be a lot easier that way. I sew on the couch when one of my shirts has hole in 'em."

"Housewife" Aomine whispered mockingly for everyone to hear in the room.

Kagami clenched his jaw and helped Kuroko on the couch. Then he sat on the other side. Kuroko laid his ankle on Kagami's knee. Kagami wanted start to sew when he suddenly stopped the needle midair.

"Wont this hurt?" Kagami asked lifting an eyebrow.

Kuroko stayed quiet and looked then with a straight face to Kagami. "I don't know Kagami-kun"

Kagami looked puzzled and then he slowly brought the needle near Kuroko's foot. He slowly poked it. Everyone in the room was starring at Kuroko's ankle and then in Kuroko's face. Even the yellow eye in jar was observing Kuroko's facial expressions. When Kuroko didn't give a sound of pain from him. Kagami made the first stitch on Kuroko's foot then he started a stitch in Kuroko's ankle to put the two parts together.

Kuroko gave a scream from himself and looked with pained eyes in Kagami's face.

"Oh god... Oh my god... fuck! Kuroko I didn't mean to... I-I... Kuroko s-sorry buddy!" Kagami panicked and let the needle go; it still stuck in Kuroko's ankle though.

The other ones in the room were silent and had sweat on their foreheads -just Akashi was still looking blankly-, after all they would be the next ones. But then Kuroko began to smile and then gave a small snort from himself. He began to laugh silently and holding his sides.

"Your really fell for it." He said after laughing some time and looking blankly again.

"Kurokocchi so meeaaann!" Kise wailed.

Kagami had just an blank expression on his face. The rest of the Kiseki no Sedai just looked at Kuroko they just starred at him.

"Kuroko... Why?" Kagami asked slowly.

"It doesn't hurt Kagami." Kuroko said avoiding Kagami's question.

Kagami took again the needle in his hand and stitched it finally through Kuroko's ankle. He looked in Kuroko's face to be sure it really didn't hurt. So he started to sew Kuroko's foot on. This was the worst day in Kagami's life.

"Hey, guys how did you all lose your body-parts?" Kise asked with a beaming smile pointing with his right arm to the others.

Everybody was quiet. They stood there and looked at each other.

"So who want's to start with their story." Kise laughed out shortly "I bet it was hilarious!"

Still nobody said a word.

"Nah, guys don't be so shy! I lost my arm because my arm crashed against a street-sign!" Kise laughed and scratched the back of his head after he put his right arm under his armpit again.

Everybody was still quiet.

Kise sighed "How about you Aominecchi!" He then said in a too loud way.

Aomine grumbled shortly "It doesn't matter, does it?"

"But it would be fun while we wait!" Kise replied quickly.

Aomine mumbled some curses under his breath and then began to tell.

"So I went to play some basketball... "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked the new chapter and leave some reviews :3  
> see you guys next chapter!


End file.
